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Come As You Are

Most often, when I see love depicted on the screen or hear the sentiment in song, it is an expression that is more synonymous with need and desire than with wanting the best for another person. It is a rarity to see or hear love portrayed as selfless or magnanimous, love that encourages self-expression and self-assurance in another, love that says: "Come As You Are."

What better way is there to empower and to inspire creativity in those around us than to accept them in all the glory of their uniqueness. And how deeply fortunate we are when we find ourselves basking in the warmth and reassurance of that same unconditional love. 



My mother has been an inspiration to me. She has lived a life of utmost integrity, moral values and ethical standards. I have never known her to lie, cheat or utter a profanity. And she would rather throw in the towel than throw away a recyclable, litter or fail to vote her mind in an election. In addition, she has done her best to live as an example of unrestricted love.

When my father criticized and withheld approval from his children, my mother was usually waiting in the wings, ready to clean up the emotional mess left in his wake. It was not always a perfect save. My mother, too, was a product of her upbringing, believing that a woman's needs and goals were less weighted than a man's and that a parent withheld praise in a child's best interest. Therefore, her compliments were not effusive, but the ones I received remain forever embedded in my memory -- whether they were regarding my singing voice or a report card my father had just trounced because of one minus in a list of "A's." I can also readily retrieve a feeling of sadness at both parents' seeming indifference in response to challenges undertaken or dreams pursued. (I actually can't recall ever being given encouragement to follow a dream; I'm quite sure my parents were never instilled with a sense of their own potential growing up.)

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