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Come As You Are

This philosophy is a bit like the optimism of back-to-school night in most school districts. The teacher proclaims that every student begins the year with an "A." The slate is clean. Students can do with their school year as they choose. Each individual has the opportunity to create new beginnings and to be accepted for who they are, or who they wish to become at that very moment in their lives.

Teachers have an exceptional opportunity to nurture the creative spirit in their students. Unlike most anyone else in a community, teachers see a child on a daily basis, thereby wielding considerable influence and authority over their captive audience. Sometimes that power goes awry, and sometimes the power becomes diminished out of indifference or lethargy, but most often it is used to inspire, encourage and to enlighten. Astute, compassionate teachers are able to illuminate a student's potential, acknowledge and accept the uniqueness in each child, reveal gifts that might otherwise have been obscured and be supportive through trying times. More often than not, when accomplished adults are interviewed after attaining some level of success in their lives, there is a teacher in their history who was instrumental in challenging and inspiring them to greatness.

My fourth grade teacher holds a revered place in my memory. Mr. McEcheren was my first male teacher. And I adored him. He was jovial, warmhearted, and smelled of after-shave and cigarettes. (In those days, when the door to the teachers' lounge opened into the hall, a billow of smoke followed.) I remember feeling comforted in his classroom, appreciated, a bit coddled -- even loved. His pats on the shoulder as he complimented and encouraged my hard work were welcomed and reassuring. In retrospect, he gave me what I had longed for from my father. 

It has always been my belief that prejudice (prejudging) and discrimination stem from fear and distrust of what we don't -- or don't choose to -- understand. It is the closed mind that rejects and hates before knowing and will eventually suffocate all hope for its own creative life as it builds impenetrable walls with the precise intention of keeping the unknown unknown. Prejudice is the creative spirit's nemesis. Unfortunately, it can become generational: a learned thought process, an accepted practice. 

It takes a strong-minded child to break free from a discriminatory familial belief system. Leaving home for work or college allows young people the freedom to begin viewing life through their own eyes and formulating distinctive opinions. But it is a very steep hill to climb. As children, we view our parents as god-like. All knowing. And we trust and believe that what we are taught is The Truth. Early teachings run deep into our unconscious minds. Emancipating ourselves can take a lifetime.
 
The open mind embraces newness and is not afraid of the unfamiliar. In fact, it is the challenge of the unknown that stimulates the open mind to want to delve and to discover, to acknowledge and to assimilate. In fostering this spirit in our children, we, as parents, face an arduous challenge: to acquaint, not indoctrinate our children with our philosophies. Our children do not belong to us; we are teachers and caretakers until they reach maturity and take flight. We serve as role models introducing them to our religious beliefs, our political bent, our ethics and morals -- and then we let go, allowing them to formulate their own philosophies and to design their own unique existence.