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Right Before My Eyes

As I review my life, I see the pattern evermore clearly of hardship firing up my spirit of creativity. For more than twenty-five years I was a singer-for-hire on records, movie soundtracks and commercials. I loved the challenge of walking cold into a recording studio or onto a sound stage having no clue as to the project-at-hand: What style of singing would be required -- jazz, rock, folk, classical? Would my part have me stretching into the attic of my range, or warming up my alto register? Would I be singing a solo or blending with a group of thirty other singers? I loved the surprise. It kept me polished and on my toes... until MS. The unknown suddenly became dread; the thrill, stress. I was compelled to invent a new career.

I can't imagine I would have written this book or recorded the companion CD had I not been stricken with an illness that forced me to regroup, reconsider and reinvent my dreams. And, even within that rebirth, I was given an unexpected challenge: rethinking my vocal style. After years of MS, I could barely sing -- my vocal cords, once providing me with power, stamina and range, were atrophied and enflamed. I was coerced into inventing a new way of singing, one that solely utilized my lower register and a breathy, less strenuous tone. Once in the recording studio, I brought in the best, most emotive and creative musicians and back-up singers to lift me up where I could no longer go. It worked. And, because I had a limited amount of time before my voice gave out on any given day, I closed my eyes and went for the emotion, letting go of the pride that once drove me to strive for a "perfect" take. My lyrics came alive as never before.

In "The Sound of Music," Mother Superior tells Maria: "When God closes a door, He opens a window." Well, I believe He also gives us the tools to open those windows ourselves.   

In the search for creative solutions, there will ultimately be stumbling blocks and mountains to climb. Leonardo da Vinci is quoted as saying, "Every obstacle is destroyed through rigor." Not every ailment or problem is solvable, but we who derive joy out of the fruition of an idea followed through to its final form must never give up prematurely or become disappointed too easily, always remembering that climbing a mountain simply means taking one step at a time.

In addition to perseverance, having optimism and the promise of possibilities not only helps keep the creative spirit alive and all of our faculties alert and in tune, but that bigger-than-life faith can bring with it its own healing power.

 

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